Not with a Bang

Peggy Raker

 

Is there a sound?  If there is I have never heard it.  I tell you, I am not deaf, I can hear the chopper.  And I can feel the entire building shudder as it sets down on the roof.  Do I hear ‘Let’s go’ or do I just know

instinctively?  If stretcher wheels on tile make noise I wouldn’t know since I am usually on the phone with blood bank.  Frightened eyes look up at me while I tell them to hold on tight as they go off to sleep.  The noise can be maddening as everyone hits their mark; sometimes, from the vortex they will ask, ‘Am I going to die?’  No one answers but you bet we all hear the question.  I guess somebody says they will prep and I guess somebody says they will scrub but I don’t always hear; in times past we have cut without both. When we are really moving, there is no discussion at all about anything; we all know what needs doing. Sometimes a bad situation turns worse, urgency reaches another level and we all become more determined because none of us wants to loose anyone, ever.  I know I am not deaf; I have heard the roar of a hurricane; I know the sound of something blowing up; I have heard a gun shot.  I wonder why I never hear a sound when the life runs out onto our shoes and all over the floor.